um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
