$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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