What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
