I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Boobs speak an international language.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
