you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
