is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
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