i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize