I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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