They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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