No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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