put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
