I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
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Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
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He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize