I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We have started to decorate penises.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
