so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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