i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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