The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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