Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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