i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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