come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
