After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
