Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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