and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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