So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.