Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
