I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???