Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!