coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?