Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
