Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
