hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
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