so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
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Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
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