Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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