Someone shit on the floor
I seem to have left my pride at pride
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
