At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Your penis caused this!
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize