Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
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