brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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