I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I got inside last night via doggy door
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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