whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Randomize
