I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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