i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
