FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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