So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
