Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
