Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
