I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
