My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I could make wine with my vomit
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
