I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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