College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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