FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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