I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
