Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
