I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
