I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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