You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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