Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
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I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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