idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
