i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
