whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
