Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
