and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
