tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
