how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I have aggressive nipples.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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