i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize