well most of my day revolves around power hour
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I can feel your judgement through the phone
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
