i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
