He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
