But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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