you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
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My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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