I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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