I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
