People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
