Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
