WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
