There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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