It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
