As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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